Its so hard

I sometimes just want to lay down and die.. But i think that would be unfair to my family.
My parent's and stepdad.. and even my sister have done everything they can to help me, but i think they're getting tired of it.. well so am i.
I sometimes just want to be at home, in my bed, Alone..
But my parent's don't let me, I have to go to all sorts of people cause of my problems and i have to be in the school to much around 500 people thinking everyone's staring at me..
Noone understands i want to be alone, I sometimes want to go to the top of the mountain and scream with all air left in my lungs, but i can't..
Inside me there's a person screaming for help, Wanting to be alone all the time. a person that has the feeling everyone hates her.
Outsite i look like a regular person, but im not.. Im different.

You wouldnt see im different by looking at me, You would need to get to know me, Its like the 'Dont judge the book by its cover'.
I sometimes lay down in my bed, hug my pillow and cry, This isnt the life i chose, its not the life i want.
I want nothing more then just being normal, No more doctors, no more problems, no more sadness and no more pills, just a regular life.
Seem's like i'll never get my deepest wish, Cause i'll always be one of the little amout of people that have ADHD, Depression and Asperger all in one.. Its madness.

Those of you, that dont have any of those thing's but think you're life is horrible, Think how me, and other's with asperger feel, You are all lucky, So are we, but in a different way.