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Wednesday, 7 April 2010
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Its so hard
I sometimes just want to lay down and die.. But i think that would be unfair to my family.
My parent's and stepdad.. and even my sister have done everything they can to help me, but i think they're getting tired of it.. well so am i.
I sometimes just want to be at home, in my bed, Alone..
But my parent's don't let me, I have to go to all sorts of people cause of my problems and i have to be in the school to much around 500 people thinking everyone's staring at me..
Noone understands i want to be alone, I sometimes want to go to the top of the mountain and scream with all air left in my lungs, but i can't..
Inside me there's a person screaming for help, Wanting to be alone all the time. a person that has the feeling everyone hates her.
Outsite i look like a regular person, but im not.. Im different.
You wouldnt see im different by looking at me, You would need to get to know me, Its like the 'Dont judge the book by its cover'.
I sometimes lay down in my bed, hug my pillow and cry, This isnt the life i chose, its not the life i want.
I want nothing more then just being normal, No more doctors, no more problems, no more sadness and no more pills, just a regular life.
Seem's like i'll never get my deepest wish, Cause i'll always be one of the little amout of people that have ADHD, Depression and Asperger all in one.. Its madness.
Those of you, that dont have any of those thing's but think you're life is horrible, Think how me, and other's with asperger feel, You are all lucky, So are we, but in a different way.
My parent's and stepdad.. and even my sister have done everything they can to help me, but i think they're getting tired of it.. well so am i.
I sometimes just want to be at home, in my bed, Alone..
But my parent's don't let me, I have to go to all sorts of people cause of my problems and i have to be in the school to much around 500 people thinking everyone's staring at me..
Noone understands i want to be alone, I sometimes want to go to the top of the mountain and scream with all air left in my lungs, but i can't..
Inside me there's a person screaming for help, Wanting to be alone all the time. a person that has the feeling everyone hates her.
Outsite i look like a regular person, but im not.. Im different.
You wouldnt see im different by looking at me, You would need to get to know me, Its like the 'Dont judge the book by its cover'.
I sometimes lay down in my bed, hug my pillow and cry, This isnt the life i chose, its not the life i want.
I want nothing more then just being normal, No more doctors, no more problems, no more sadness and no more pills, just a regular life.
Seem's like i'll never get my deepest wish, Cause i'll always be one of the little amout of people that have ADHD, Depression and Asperger all in one.. Its madness.
Those of you, that dont have any of those thing's but think you're life is horrible, Think how me, and other's with asperger feel, You are all lucky, So are we, but in a different way.
Saturday, 2 May 2009
Books & Movies
I am literally addicted to books and movies, they're my life.
I go crazy if i can't read something all the time, but watching TV makes it cool for me, cause of the subtitles, Then when i am out site i look for something i can read. Its like an obsession.
My record of how many books i read and for how long i read them(without stopping) Would be 5 books and the equal of 7 hours, no im not joking.
As i woke up today, i found my Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse magazines(Or you know..) And started reading while i was having my breakfast(Breakfast, lunch or whatever you want to call it... it was 14:30pm)
I've been spending my whole day watching Harry Potter 2 and George Of The Jungle over and over, i just love old movies.. George of the jungle was my favorite movie since well.. it came out!
I've not been out one bit, i prefer spending my weekends alone in my room with a computer by my side. ohh and a TV.
And my puzzle's(I solve one puzzle before i go to sleep, - else i somehow cant sleep its weird) and my mini 'library' that contains twilight, Confessions of a shopoholic, the whole Harry Potter collection and many other books.
Then i cant stop staring at my amazing new jewelry set(a beautiful necklace and the most gorgeous pair of earrings ive ever seen) that my mum gave me.. worth 5000!!
Anyhow, Anyone know exactly what countries have the piggy-pig/pork/swine flu?
I've stopped visiting new's paper sites as they are just making to big of a deal out of this.. Just like with the bird flu, they were speaking like all Icelanders were doomed, you have no idea how freaked out i was!
I go crazy if i can't read something all the time, but watching TV makes it cool for me, cause of the subtitles, Then when i am out site i look for something i can read. Its like an obsession.
My record of how many books i read and for how long i read them(without stopping) Would be 5 books and the equal of 7 hours, no im not joking.
As i woke up today, i found my Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse magazines(Or you know..) And started reading while i was having my breakfast(Breakfast, lunch or whatever you want to call it... it was 14:30pm)
I've been spending my whole day watching Harry Potter 2 and George Of The Jungle over and over, i just love old movies.. George of the jungle was my favorite movie since well.. it came out!
I've not been out one bit, i prefer spending my weekends alone in my room with a computer by my side. ohh and a TV.
And my puzzle's(I solve one puzzle before i go to sleep, - else i somehow cant sleep its weird) and my mini 'library' that contains twilight, Confessions of a shopoholic, the whole Harry Potter collection and many other books.
Then i cant stop staring at my amazing new jewelry set(a beautiful necklace and the most gorgeous pair of earrings ive ever seen) that my mum gave me.. worth 5000!!
Anyhow, Anyone know exactly what countries have the piggy-pig/pork/swine flu?
I've stopped visiting new's paper sites as they are just making to big of a deal out of this.. Just like with the bird flu, they were speaking like all Icelanders were doomed, you have no idea how freaked out i was!
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Introduction
Hello, My name's Arna Rut and i've recently been diognised with Asperger Syndrome.
I come from the small country Iceland, and there is only about 100-500 people or so that have this syndrome here, And well, i have to admit i'm one of them. But guess what? I'm proud of it.
Most of you wouldn't understand me, And us kids with Asperger Syndrome have social problems, but the internet makes communication easier for us. Some kid's with Asperger Syndrome hide it, - or try to. While others admit it and some even write books about how our life is.
This wont be all about Asperger, I'm just describing how my day's been and you will notice how i'm different from others. No i don't really have friends but hey, I have my family and while i have them i'm happy.
So, let's start writing about how today was, Its only about 12 pm so there hasnt much happened.
I woke up today at 8 am, Having to go to school at 9 since my Danish teacher decided to give us 1 hour break(Told us last monday). I ofcourse got ready, not wanting to go to school as usual... 500 people in one place is maybe to much for me, and i sometimes want to start yelling or even crying in the middle of the school, But i do my best not to.
When i went to the latest Danish class we were watching Video's , Watching my classmates making themself look like fools hahaha.
Then we went to geography and had an exam, The teacher forgetting about my problems in seeing stuff, and didnt notice that i couldnt see what she was writing on a white board, So all i wrote on the paper was "Couldnt see" and gave it to her.
She let us out 20 minutes early, so i went to floor 0 to wait for science/biology, that was like 40 minutes away. Me being there all alone made kids stare at me, Very uncomfturable! I tried to avoid eye contacts but those really freak me out.
When class started we were talking about certain movements that are very hard for me - since i have ADHD aswell, - then i heard my cousin/Classmate say "He's just an hyperactive dork" and as i'm hyperactive myself i got very angry but i tried to calm myself down, When my teacher heard her say that he changed the subject, He knows i have ADHD and he's well, the best teacher ever(and funny not to mention) When that class was over, i had Art left, being so angry and knowing i had two long classes with the worst teacher IN THE SCHOOL i ran off, I went about 1 or 2 KM way to try to get some fresh air to calm myself down.
And now i'm just sitting here. I'm not very happy right now, but im glad there is NO school tomorrow, its republic day so i get to stay home, YES! I hate being at school, i think everyone is always talking about me in a bad way, people avoid me all the time and i avoid them, and having a crazy stalker as a classmate(she literally doesnt leave me alone) and having a teacher thats like, going to kill me(She seriously watches my every move and doesnt leave me alone).
When will people get i just want to be alone?
....
Its now nearly 18:00, Ive been outsite with my mum and sister the whole day. Got some french fries, i think my family's really the only people i like being with..
I come from the small country Iceland, and there is only about 100-500 people or so that have this syndrome here, And well, i have to admit i'm one of them. But guess what? I'm proud of it.
Most of you wouldn't understand me, And us kids with Asperger Syndrome have social problems, but the internet makes communication easier for us. Some kid's with Asperger Syndrome hide it, - or try to. While others admit it and some even write books about how our life is.
This wont be all about Asperger, I'm just describing how my day's been and you will notice how i'm different from others. No i don't really have friends but hey, I have my family and while i have them i'm happy.
So, let's start writing about how today was, Its only about 12 pm so there hasnt much happened.
I woke up today at 8 am, Having to go to school at 9 since my Danish teacher decided to give us 1 hour break(Told us last monday). I ofcourse got ready, not wanting to go to school as usual... 500 people in one place is maybe to much for me, and i sometimes want to start yelling or even crying in the middle of the school, But i do my best not to.
When i went to the latest Danish class we were watching Video's , Watching my classmates making themself look like fools hahaha.
Then we went to geography and had an exam, The teacher forgetting about my problems in seeing stuff, and didnt notice that i couldnt see what she was writing on a white board, So all i wrote on the paper was "Couldnt see" and gave it to her.
She let us out 20 minutes early, so i went to floor 0 to wait for science/biology, that was like 40 minutes away. Me being there all alone made kids stare at me, Very uncomfturable! I tried to avoid eye contacts but those really freak me out.
When class started we were talking about certain movements that are very hard for me - since i have ADHD aswell, - then i heard my cousin/Classmate say "He's just an hyperactive dork" and as i'm hyperactive myself i got very angry but i tried to calm myself down, When my teacher heard her say that he changed the subject, He knows i have ADHD and he's well, the best teacher ever(and funny not to mention) When that class was over, i had Art left, being so angry and knowing i had two long classes with the worst teacher IN THE SCHOOL i ran off, I went about 1 or 2 KM way to try to get some fresh air to calm myself down.
And now i'm just sitting here. I'm not very happy right now, but im glad there is NO school tomorrow, its republic day so i get to stay home, YES! I hate being at school, i think everyone is always talking about me in a bad way, people avoid me all the time and i avoid them, and having a crazy stalker as a classmate(she literally doesnt leave me alone) and having a teacher thats like, going to kill me(She seriously watches my every move and doesnt leave me alone).
When will people get i just want to be alone?
....
Its now nearly 18:00, Ive been outsite with my mum and sister the whole day. Got some french fries, i think my family's really the only people i like being with..
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